Here it is, the fourth and final part to my mini series on how to accept that not everything will go to plan on your wedding day. This week, I’m focussing on dealing with the feelings you may have AFTER your wedding when some things didn’t quite go to plan.
I’m not going to lie – I had a couple! As a creative and ridiculous perfectionist (OCD organisational freak) I am my worst critic and I like everything to be perfect. When you put that together with planning a wedding, it’s easy to go a bit ‘mental’.
SO, how to accept that not everything can ever be perfect? Well, that’s something I’m still learning myself to be honest but I’m happy to be open about the things that I personally felt didn’t go to plan and how I got around it in the hope that if you are only even half the organisational perfectionist maniac that I am, that this will help you…
1) The cake
Our cake was amazing – you cannot go wrong with Hummingbird Bakery! We deliberately went for a smaller size because from wedding guest and photographer experience, EVERYONE forgets the cake and it never gets eaten. A personal gripe of mine, is food wastage, so this was a big deal for me! So I kindly asked the caterers to walk it around like canapes once it was cut…. this unfortunately didn’t happen and all the cake was chopped and placed on a table at the back of the reception room, miiiilllles away from the dancing. People only saw it there if they walked past to go to the loo! I will admit, I never quite got over this, but, my advice to anyone with similar ‘food waste issues’ as me or if you simply want people to eat your cake, set a pretty display table up by the entrance/exit of your reception. Ask the caterers to box it up and put a pretty sign out saying ‘please take some cake’. Easy, simple, and after having too many glasses of wine every guest will love you forever if you feed them as they are staggering home… Win win!
You’ve dreamed of your wedding for ages, and had it all mapped out on Pinterest for months! But when it finally all came together, something wasn’t right. It was lovely, but it wasn’t quite how you imagined.
Sound familiar or sounds like something you are worried about happening? Please please don’t let it. Your wedding NOT turning out as it was on Pinterest is EXACTLY the type of wedding you want. It makes it yours and it makes it personal – it took me a while to realise this.
There was something on my wedding day that I didn’t dislike, but it definitely wasn’t what i had pictured in my head and I felt a little disappointed. Disappointed? I know – I felt GUILTY and so ungrateful for feeling that way because what was delivered was OUTSTANDING and beautiful. It just took me time to realise that, and it could definitely have been avoided if I hadn’t been so obsessed/confused with what i saw daily on Pinterest and at the weddings I was photographing (double whammy for a photographer!). If something wasn’t quite how you wanted it, try to accept it. By accepting it, you’ll start to see what WAS so lovely about it that was simply being clouded by that one Pinterest image you’ve had stuck in your head for months 😉
Generally speaking, people usually behaves themselves on the wedding day itself. If any secret dramas occur you normally hear about them after the wedding day. If you are unfortunate enough, to witness something, as I was, all I can truthfully say, is not matter how disappointed you feel, try your very very best to keep those feelings at bay. Don’t talk to anyone about it, don’t even let it all out to your bridesmaids. Keep it under wraps, because ‘not talking about it’ will help you to put those feelings aside for the rest of the day so that you can focus on enjoying yourself.
Something happened on our wedding day, and we managed to leave it where it was and not think about it until we were back from honeymoon, which is a huge triumph for me as I struggle to let go of things. If I can get past something and forget about it for the day, believe me when I say you can. Just remember to not allow yourself to give it any of your time and attention. You’ll very easily be distracted by something fun. After the wedding, well that’s something that can be a lot more tricky to deal with. Either you leave it where you left it (brushed under the carpet) or, you broach the subject if this is the best way for you to get closure and truly put it to bed. I can’t really give you complete advice on this, but you’ll know what to do if you have to. Just remember to be calm and only approach it one your emotions have settled and you’ll be in a place where you can think properly.
And there we have it! The end to my mini blog series. I do hope this will provide valuable advice and tips for all you lovely brides-to-be, whether you’re not engaged yet (but hoping to be), newly engaged, about to get married or just married!
I hope you enjoyed it 🙂