Image Zoe Collyer
Can you have too many bridesmaids and also not enough??
I’ve read many different opinions on this across lots of different blogs so I’ll try to make it simple….
I’m not going to sugar coat it, but the night before your wedding and the morning of the big day, are pretty nerve racking. Of course, different brides experience different nerves, some are quite excitable, some are a littler nervous, and some can feel quite sick. As a bride, I was the latter!!
Regardless of what type of ‘nervous bride’ you are, you need to put yourself above everyone else and think about who you would want and need there with you. Who will make you feel calm? Who will help organise you? Who will make you laugh? Who will go over and above to be helpful? Finally, who can you just simply not imagine being without – your best best friends? If you consider these sorts of personal questions rather than etiquette, what you read in magazine’s or the pressure that may be put on by family, then you should know instantly who your girls are!
Mine was the easiest decision of the whole wedding, and 5 of my 6 girls had been on my list for years and years. In fact, I technically had 7, because one of my best friends is a guy, so we made him an usher BUT he spent the morning with me. I don’t know what i’d have done without him there! He comforted me when i was shaking with nerves but refused to allow me to wallow – thanks Lukey (love you!). So you can see, there are no ‘set rules’ or right and wrong here, it has to be what you truly know in your heart is right. Go on, have a little think (even if you’re not even engaged) and i bet there are people who you know instantly!
I know of some brides who simply have their one sister. Others have no bridesmaids and just young flower girls. I know someone who had eight bridesmaids and eight flower girls!! They will have had their own reasons for their choices and will have been ones they were happy with.
Of course, budget can come into some peoples choices, but there are SO many ways to get around that AND still have all the girls you want (blog post coming soon on this!)
There are also situations where brides (and this will be my sister one day!) have lots of different close friends across lots of different friendship groups. There’s no one answer here, but when the time comes, you’ll know what to do and it will all work out the way it is supposed to, even if it’s not an instant ‘i know who my bridesmaids will be’ moment. Simply always put what you want first and then manage others expectations as best as possible. Some friend’s may feel dis-heartened, but a good true friend would never kick up a fuss about it because they understand it’s your decision. One day, when it’s their turn, they will see things in a different light as they too will have to make these sorts of decisions – so don’t fret 🙂
So don’t read blogs or get advice from friends and family about what they think you should do. People will accept who you choose because it’s your decision and actually, one of your own and most personal decisions you’ll make that won’t include your groom. Gone are the days where all your bridesmaids must be your cousins or your groom’s sisters, cousins etc… Go with your heart and your gut. Choose people who make you feel GOOD and you are most comfortable around. Choose positive girls. Choose girls who will add that something special to your morning… choose your best friends. If you do this, it’s easy 🙂
Image Zoe Collyer